One of the ways that you'll know that you have good parents is that they still love you no matter what happens and what you do. As the public school system has grown to the point where it is teaching nearly everything that used to be reserved solely for parent, it can be easy to underestimate the value of a good parent, especially when you have to deal with the constant portrayal of parents, especially fathers, as either dead, complete idiots, or abusive. But despite this, there are good parents out there striving to make sure that their kids grow up to be responsible, caring adults that respect those around them. And yet, with the world in the state that it's in, I'd imagine a lot of parents watch their kids grow up from day to day, and they worry if they did everything right. I am a special case, because my parents worry about me all the time, especially when I was born. But more on that later.
In his song, "What It Means to be Loved," singer Mark Schultz recaps the experience of a family his wife knew that was working their way through a difficult pregnancy. The doctors told the mother to be that even if the child survived, she probably wouldn't live very long and that an abortion might be preferable. And the wife's choice afterwards ended up being the foundation for this heart-tugging song.
Picture this from the point of view of the parents. After discovering that the family is going to have its first child, naturally there's going to be excitement, fear, apprehension, and a whole roller-coaster of emotions. But then, five months into the pregnancy, that roller-coaster comes to a screeching halt thanks to an unexpected call from the hospital. You walk into the office and hear those words that no one ever wants to hear from a medical expert.
"You'd better sit down. I've got some bad news."
A chill runs down your spine, and everything around you fades into a muffled void as he tells you that your baby might end up dying before it's even born. To think that your Heavenly Father would take a child from his/her parents is downright appalling, especially when it comes with a choice. Do you want to take a baby that might very well die anyway and simply put it out of its misery? Or do you carry the child to term and double your pain in the process if it does end up dying? Again, such a choice for most people would be too painful to even consider. Yet the wife in the song makes her decision right away. And the words she speaks hit home for anyone who has ever raised a child.
I want to give her the world. I want to hold her hand. I want to be her mom for as long as I can. And I want to live every moment until that day comes. I want to show her what it means to be loved.
As someone who watched all of his grandparents slowly deteriorate before they finally died, I can understand that feeling of wanting to squeeze every last minute of time you can get with that person even if you're not necessarily doing anything life-changing. Even though doing so would also increase the severity of the pain when they finally do die. But as wrenching as the pain of loss is to bear, it can't compare to the joy of HAVING.
The song continues. After days of prayer, the mother succeeds in giving birth to her daughter, but the doctors take the child into their care right afterward. The father sees his little girl struggling to stay alive through one of the windows, and he comes to the same conclusion that his wife did. He wants to love and care for his daughter for as long as he can, because he loves her. Now both parents are fully invested in their newborn baby.
To interlude for a moment, I learned something new about my birth from my dad on my 26th birthday. He told me that when the doctors told him that there was a 50/50 chance I would die on my first night alive, he went to God in prayer and pleaded with Him that the following day wouldn't find a new father forced to bury his child. If God allowed me to continue living, then my father would give me to Him just like Hannah did with her son Samuel in the Bible. And I can confirm with each breath I take that God answered my father's prayer.
This leads to the final verse of the song where Mark recounts the end of his story.
Well ever since the day we got to bring her home, she's been out to prove the doctors wrong. Oh and you should see her now, she's as pretty as her mom. And there's a boy at the front door waiting just to take her to her high school prom.
Just, the sheer amount of release in those few lines. The little girl didn't just survive her ordeal, she went on to defy all odds. The parents' grief turned to joy and thankfulness that they'd still be able to love their child, and they continued to love her for years after that.
The love between a parent and child is a wonderful experience that cannot be replicated by anything else. It's my hope that one day I'll have children of my own that I'll be able to love as much as my parents love me. Make sure you appreciate your own family while you still have them.