Why I HATE Double Standards

Stop me if you've witnessed any of these scenarios before:

1: A man loses his temper and slaps a woman hard enough to leave a bruise. He's a scumbag who should rot in jail. A woman hits a man hard enough to leave a bruise. He had it coming/Isn't that hilarious?/Yay for feminism.

2: A woman who would rather focus on her career instead of settling down and starting a family is deemed selfish, but it's perfectly acceptable for a man. Alternatively, a stay-at-home mom that takes care of the kids is a treasure. But a stay-at-home dad that takes care of the kids is a deadbeat/glorified baby sitter.

3. A man who "scores" with lots of women is treated as a stud. A woman who "scores" with a lot of men is treated with shame.

4. A man who gropes, leers at, stalks, or harasses a woman is treated as the scum of the earth. A woman who gropes, leers at, stalks, or harasses a man is laughed off as a joke or even encouraged to continue.

These are just some of the double standards that hamper both men and women. And I despise every last one of them. You see, this isn't exactly a recent issue. People have been elevating certain groups of people and dis-empowering others even back in Bible times. Roman citizens were valued above regular people. The Jews valued themselves above the Gentiles. The Pharisees valued themselves above other Jews as well. Then as we get closer to the present, the lines of value change, but the discrimination remains the same. White and black. Straight and gay. Male and female. Somewhere along the line, certain groups began counter-discriminating, trying to hold members of majority groups accountable for the actions of all of them. This leads to constant attacks on so-called "White Privilege", "Cishet scum", and "Toxic Masculinity", which translates to attempts to justify discrimination against white, straight, and male individuals respectively. I hate that too. But why?

Anyone can hate a double standard when they're on the receiving end of it. We throw up our hands and shout to the heavens that life isn't fair. But that's not my issue. There's the fact that people can gain certain positions, sympathy, and prestige without actually doing anything to earn it. Worse are the people that realize this and purposely invoke the stereotype for their own personal gain. That's certainly a much bigger problem, but it still isn't my problem. My problem with double standards goes deeper than that.

Before I continue, I'd like to take a moment to challenge my readers. What kind of statement is being made whenever a double standard is invoked? What impression does one leave? How does it make you feel other than just unfairness? Think about that for a few seconds.

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Now that that's over, here's my point.

When you invoke a double standard, you're saying two things. The first is that the person on the positive end of the double standard is more important than the person on the negative end. They matter more. Their feelings are more important. They are more special. And all of this comes just by existing, not by actually doing anything. This can then lead to feelings of self-importance, arrogance, condescension, entitlement, and downright cruelty towards the people that don't meet the high end of the standard. This is where you get your schoolyard bullies, high school mean girls, office egotists, and just all-around jerks. They're special, you aren't, and you're going to hear about it all the time. And then there's the other side of the coin.

The negative end of the double standard is even worse. Because while the positive end lifts a person up just by existing, the negative end pushes them down just for existing. They don't matter. Their feelings aren't as important. They aren't special. They're not worth caring about. Worse, they're even held accountable for other people's actions just for something only tangentially related to them. This can lead to feelings of self-loathing, lack of passion, apathy, depression, worthlessness, and downright suicidal behavior. How can they not? If your life doesn't matter to these people, then how much of a difference will your death make? None at all. I should know. I used to wrestle with these exact same thoughts.

Going back to my previous post, I mentioned that I try to care about and feel compassion for everyone that I meet. Double standards spit in the face of that. They say that some people are worth caring about more than others and that not everyone deserves compassion. So long as they exist, people will never truly be equal. Which is why I have made it one of my writing goals to deconstruct and tear down every. last. one. I hope you will join me in doing the same.